Single and finding love as a 30 something


Something changes when you hit your 30’s and you’re still single. Your priorities change. Things become clearer and your dating style changes. This is what I think happens when you are wanting to find love in your 30’s.

You work out what you really want.
Killer looks, an impressive ability to drink and a hot car were the top of my priority list in my 20’s. In your 30’s, thankfully, this superficial thought process is long gone. You now want more than meets the eye. You want someone who is kind, thoughtful and hard-working. Someone who is family orientated. Of course physical attraction is still important, but it’s not the sole thing that matters.

Heartbreak doesn’t cripple you.
I recall as a 20-something, I spent chunks of my life mourning the loss of a relationship. I couldn’t ever imagine enjoying life again without that person. Wrong! Everyone experiences breakups and and we all bounce back. In your 30’s with a little more life experience under your belt, you realise much more quickly to take the lesson and keep moving.

Core values become more important.
In my 20’s a think I changed my persona at least a dozen times to suit who I was with. In your 30’s you know the good, the bad and the ugly about yourself. And being self-aware means you know what kind of person you want to be with. Being true to your non-negotiables will keep you on track and knowing your partners core values are critical as these can now make or break the relationship.

Bullsh*t tolerance meter hits it’s lowest.
In my 20’s, if I knew men weren’t right for me, I dated them anyway. Now in your 30’s, you know what you want and who you are, and you don’t have time for people who aren’t on the same page. You know that wanting to change someone will never work, nor do you ever want to convince them that you are indeed “the one.” You no longer have tolerance for crap. If you don’t feel “it” after a few dates (by “it,” I mean chemistry and compatibility) there won’t be any more.


Do you agree? What has been your experience of dating in your 30’s?

Karen x

About Karen Von Blanckensee

Karen’s love of matchmaking was ignited the first time she successfully set up some friends. By combining this passion with her experience in sales, marketing & event management, Karen delivers the best possible solutions for her single clients. When she is not busy happily bringing singles together, spending time with family and friends is a joyful priority.

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